My dearest friend,

Be forewarned:

If you are on a 30-day cleanse, don’t read this.  If you are avoiding refined sugar, superfluous oils and fats, processed nut butters or pleasure in general, stop reading. If you are looking at this while beginning a 13-mile run or heading to pilates, I’m begging you, look away.  Because, once you start, you won’t be able to stop.  You won’t be able to say no.  The life you have been leading, nay, striving for, will cease to exist as you know it.